He is Risen!

Well another fruitful season of Lent has passed us. Sometimes I feel old...

Anyway, out of my six students in RCIC five of them were at the Vigil and all but one finished the sacraments of initiation. The one poor girl was sick and after throwing up twice her parents took her home before communion. We'll have to do something special for her, she was so looking forward to this experience! The sixth student is going to receive her sacraments later due to a family reunion.

Yet we are not done, there is catechesis to be taught and First Reconciliation to be made. I do love teaching the kids about the Church. Tomorrow we are going to pray the rosary in the prayer garden! One of my favorite experiences with the kids and they seem to enjoy it as well.

Holy Saturday was quite full of things to do as we had rehearsal with Father Larry in the morning, a nice lunch of vegetable soup and a retreat where the children received letters from family and friends telling them how much they love them. It is always a great experience to see the kids read their letters. We discussed what would happen at the Vigil and then they wrote their own letter to Jesus telling Him anything in their hearts and why they were becoming Catholic. These letters were carried up to the altar during the presentation of the gifts. The reception after Mass was quite lovely with lots of food and flowers. I took a dozen roses home to love on.

On Sunday I got up to make bunny shaped biscuits which were a total failure when they came out of the oven (they lost their bunny shape) but tasted excellent so I was happy about that. Matthew and I shared an Easter meal with his (soon-to-be-"our") parents and three friends were there to share it with us. It was the first time we have been able to spend time with an engaged couple from RCIA, Stephanie and Michael, and I think they had a wonderful time. A dear friend of ours, Mark, was present as well and he brought some food to share. We love spending time with Mark, it is hard to find such a wonderful friend who loves to talk about books and spirituality and almost anything! We played a game of dominoes after dinner and then we had to go feed and take Chewy on a walk. We returned to Dick and Karol's to pray the rosary together and watch the Discovery Channel's Life series. Overall a fun-filled day.

I missed my own families holiday filled with chatter and children hunting for Easter eggs and baskets full of candy. My wonderful sister, Melissa, did bring me these amazing Easter eggs called opera creams which my mother will store for me until I come home. These eggs are hand made and are such a treat!

I gave up playing on the internet for Lent and alloted myself one hour each day to check my email and look at blogs and things. So far I think I did a good job and even had days in there where I didn't get on a computer at all! I am happy to be able to read lots of Catholic blogs again. But that is for another post.

_____________________________________________

Blessed be God.

Blessed be His Holy Name.

Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.

Blessed be the name of Jesus.

Blessed be His Most Sacred Heart.

Blessed be Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar.

Blessed be the Holy Spirit, the paraclete.

Blessed be the great Mother of God, Mary most holy.

Blessed be her holy and Immaculate Conception.

Blessed be her glorious Assumption.

Blessed be the name of Mary, Virgin and Mother.

Blessed be Saint Joseph, her most chaste spouse.

Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints.

May the heart of Jesus, in the Most Blessed Sacrament, be praised, adored, and loved with great affection, at every moment, in all the tabernacles of the world, even to the end of time. Amen.

What's happening

I've been very busy lately, as well has been Matthew. Thanksgiving was great and relaxing here in Austin. We had dinner with Dick and Karol and our friends, Seyma and Tayfun, came over to eat and play dominoes with us. Food was great, company was great! God is good!

On black Friday we did go shopping but not until the afternoon. We went to Macy's. Matthew needs to throw away some clothing that he has had for too long and replace some things! So we've been slowly updating his clothes with things more comfortable, better quality and fashionable. I'm very excited about his new clothes. We had to leave our items there because we purchased them on a sale price that wasn't going to happen on that day. I am going to stop by Macy's tonight to pick them up. I bought three pretty dresses and I might take one back but it was worth it to buy it at the discount price and decide later to return.

We have been busy thinking about our Christmas plans and I have been working on my Christmas gift-list. I am happy that I have something in mind for all who I am shopping for and I will be able to stay within my budget.

Our engagement party is just around the corner so I am making my checklist for that! We are very excited to be engaged and are happy that so many friends and loved ones want to celebrate with us. I have the cutest dress to wear!

We are going to be gone for awhile over Christmas. We are leaving Monday, December 21st and won't return until Saturday, January 9th. A lot of wedding planning will be done while we are at home. We need to meet with Msgr. Neuhaus, Father Ed, Fred the photographer, Marylin the baker, the caterer, musicians, and a host of other things. I'm looking forward to visiting with family and friends. I look forward to the cold weather but I hope travel is easy.

We watched Therese, Fulton and Gianna last night and had a fabulous time. The kids love to be read to and play games. Putting them to bed is always the end of the fun, children never like to brush their teeth or say goodnight but we managed without too much difficulty. I can't imagine what it would be like to watch other children who don't have the charitable hearts and innocence that the Gretencord clan have. The worst we get when a child is angry is, "I don't like you," "I wish you weren't here," or "No, I won't put my pajamas on." I would be horrified to hear them say anything harsh. Sharon and Adam are marvelous mentors on raising children. We have learned so much.

Matthew has decided on his game plan for graduate school and it coincides pretty nicely with my education. I'm really happy that he is happy and that it so far seems like a challenge but within reach. The more we learn about homeschooling the more desirable it is to us. Since I will be the one in charge of the education then it is important for Matthew's career goals to take precedence. My own goals include working for us to have the extra income to save for the future and buy a house. We might decide later that some schooling outside the home is a better idea than us doing all of it so it is important that I complete my degree so that I can return to work later and be qualified.

Anyway, that's what's been going on with us lately. I hope to have some time to write more later.

I've added the daily readings to the blog more for my benefit than for others. We have been going to daily Mass together every day and it would be nice if I read the readings the day before. Sometimes I have trouble following by just listening. I know we are supposed to "listen" to the Word of the Lord and I try but following along helps me focus and retain. If I was asked what I just heard I would, more often than not, not have an answer. I know that I am a bad listener, I have spent years working on it and I do care about what people say.

Anyway, Peace in Christ be with you all!

Fright at the Museum

Yesterday, Matthew and I took Makayla to UT's Fright at the Museum! It certainly wasn't the normal Halloween experience I thought it would be. They had actual bugs baked into the cookies. Needless to say I was abstained from eating them. They had all kinds of creepy crawly bugs for kids to hold and pet. Makayla wasn't interested in that in the slightest. :) But she enjoyed story time and coloring her franken-saur. After the Halloween event we took her to my office and I showed her the lab. We froze pennies in liquid nitrogen and she smashed them with a hammer. It was fun!

Matthew and I with an old friend...

This tiger-woman has a tarantula crawling on her.

Apparently it is cool to paint a dead fish, slap it on a piece of paper, wipe the paint off and pass the fish to the next kid. It smelled. It looked gross. It is gross. Must be a Texas thing, I've never seen anything like it before.

Matthew really thought it was cute that the dinosaur bones had tombstones near them. They said, "RIP 65 MYA".

Makayla was playing the part of the Scooby Doo Sleuths and was investigating behind those graves.

Crispy Critter is right, eek! But nonetheless, a super sign!

Microscope labs, pretty cool!

Don't be fooled, these are real. They even had a bowl of live larva squirming around right next to the food.

Makayla was working on her Franken-Saur. Seemed much safer than most of the other activities.

We found a winged-lion and boy did he roar at Makayla!

This is my favorite picture by far.... She wanted to pose on this statue and she happens to be hugging the leg of a horse right under its rear end. Horses hinny poses with Makayla. Isn't she too cute not to post this picture?

To end the evening we took Makayla to her mom's and then headed over to Dick and Karol's, my future Mom and Dad, and they served the most amazing pot roast with potatoes, carrots, and onions! Heaven on Earth!

I still need to post the circus pictures, I'll get to is as soon as I can! She's always fun to be around. I think when we next can get her then we'll make pizza and play some games.

Mary and PJPII Encyclicals

I found another blog today that I can appreciate. I originally discovered it by reading a post at Father Z's site. The author has my name and linked to Lauren's name is her blog, Cnytr. I found this image as one of her posts with an extraordinary comment that I felt compelled to borrow and post for my own cataloging.

This image is from a 1957 breviary and the comment is: Mariology in a graphic form: Not shining in glory of her own, but reflecting that of Christ. I think the statement is beautiful and accurately depicts how I feel about our Holy Mother and how it should be easy to understand why we love her and give her so much reverence.

My father asked me to read Pope John Paul II's apostolic letter Rosarium Virginis Mariae to the bishops, clergy and faithful on the most holy rosary. I have read it and found richness to it. I am encouraging you to print it off and read it as well. My father has a special love of the rosary and everything Marian in nature. When I was young we visited the Holy Spirit Center in Norwood, Ohio (a suburb of Cincinnati) on August 31, 1999 to see the last appearance of Mary. There were hundreds of people there and it was very prayerful and exciting. At midnight a series of beautiful lights played over the grounds signifying that she was present. I'm sure that as a teenager I was skeptical and I didn't talk much about it to my father but looking back on it I am happy that he wanted to go and that he wanted me to go with him. I remember going inside the church and studying a statue of Mary. This statue was amazing! It looked like a real person was standing before me. I have never forgotten that moment. So was someone playing lights to make people believe? I don't know. Nor do I care. I'd rather believe it was truly Mary's presence. I am skeptical of people, not of God.

And, he recently sent me a link to John Paul the Great's encyclical letter on the Eucharist and its relationship to the Church. I haven't read it yet but I imagine it will be more than worthwhile.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank You for the many blessings in my life, Father Zuhlsdorf, the writings of Pope John Paul II, and my father's love of the Blessed Mother. I have several major role models and people of great influence in my life who I am blessed to know. Thank You for their presence, I don't know where I'd be without them. In Your name, I pray, Glory to the Father...

Review of my parents visit

Seven days goes by really fast when you don't want them to...

My parents arrived in the afternoon of Wednesday, April 15th (wow, was that really six weeks ago?).  I took them home and we made a lovely dinner of crusted tilapia, salad and basmati rice before then going to Liturgy of the Hours at St. Louis with Deacon Rob.  They were last here in March 2007 and saw the chapel right after it was opened.  Many changes have been made so they really enjoyed seeing it again.  Also the main congregation room is being renovated at St. Louis so we got a peek to see what to expect the coming Sunday.

My dad has gout and was inflamed in his thumb so the idea of taking them downtown Wednesday was just not a good idea.  We instead made a doctors appointment for Thursday morning.

So Thursday, we took Dad to the doctor and picked up a new prescription for him.  For dinner we picked up Matthew on campus and attempted to go to Shady Grove but they had a music venue so we wound up at Chuy's.  I find that hilarious because the one up north is a favorite haunt of Matthew's family...  So they met him for the first time after hearing about him for a few weeks.  The evening went smoothly as I expected it to.  My parents are quite friendly and I knew they would like Matthew.

On Friday it rained so Mom and I ran between droplets and ran some errands.  We picked up some things for the kitchen and around the apartment that I had been meaning to get.  It was fun!  Oh yeah, I had a dentist appointment in the morning.  Nothing much to report there, I take pretty good care of my teeth.  Mom and I went to the grocery store and proceeded to make chicken and beef teriyaki kabobs and grilled them for a delicious meal.

Saturday was another rainy day of errands.  My mom helped me take the recycling down.  I wanted her to see that it really isn't that hard to do and I wanted her to experience the sorting.  I always wanted to recycle when I was a kid and my parents were very much against it.  They thought it was a waste of time and they didn't want to make space in our home or garage to organize it.  Later that day we took some stuff to the salvation army.  Dad's new medicine wasn't helping his gout so we called his doctor at home and he called in a new prescription that we then picked up for him.  Poor Dad, he says if this is the worst he ever is in his old age then he will be happy.  I'm of the mind of, well, you still have several years to go, it could get worse...  Mom and I spent the day baking and I made pizza dough.  Matthew came over and we made pizza and prayed the scriptural rosary.  It was a lovely evening to sit outside on my porch and eat and pray together.  For me, homemade pizza and a beer is heaven.  Greg had a movie party and we went over there later to see everyone for a bit.  My parents go to bed early so they didn't care if I left for awhile.

Mass on Sunday was really nice and I was happy to see that Father Larry was giving the homily.  It would be just my luck that the one Sunday my parents are in town that they wouldn't get to hear Father Larry's homily but I wasn't that unfortunate.  The Gretencords were at Mass and afterwards I was able to hug on the kids and my parents met Sharon, Therese and Fulton.  I like it when they can put names to faces because I talk about a few people who are important to me and all they can say is, "uh-huh" and try to understand.  We had brunch with Matthew's parents at Kneaded Pleasures and Matthew and I were both quite pleased with how well everyone got along.  My parents had a fabulous time and there was no end of conversation.  Matthew told me several times that his parents had a great time as well.  I don't think it could have been better.  Unfortunately, we couldn't sit and talk forever because Sunday was the one day I took my parents to Becker Vineyards for wine tasting and it was about an hour and a half away so we needed to get going so we could spend some time before they closed in the afternoon.

Becker had changed a bit since I was last there and the changes were quite lovely.  They now have an indoor wine tasting bar and the room is just beautiful.  Before, that room was storage for their barrels.  We took a tour and tasted quite a few samples.  Joyce kept getting free samples and Dad and I wound up using the rest of her drink tickets!  Her favorite was the port and Dad and I enjoyed several reds.  I can't wait to go to Becker again, the atmosphere and the wine is exquisite.  Outside of the main building the layout of Becker is quite nice, they are a mile away from the main road and driving past the grape vines really makes you feel like you are going to some place authentic.  They also have bountiful harvests of lavender and the fields are just vibrantly beautiful.  After such a fun-filled day my parents were exhausted and I went to Matthew's to see him since we were used to seeing each other every day and it was weird for me to not see him while my parents were visiting.

So during the weekdays my dad was sitting on the computer watching the stock market and Joyce and I were left to do what we wanted.  We had a lovely breakfast and took our time getting ready to go out.  I took her to the botanical gardens and we walked around for a couple of hours.  Mom is in a garden club so she is quite knowledgeable about everything we saw.  It was really neat because so many of the flowers were in bloom, especially the rose garden and the aromas were amazing.  I took her to campus to buy some earrings and then we went to the lab to print out her boarding passes for their trip home.  

I don't recall when we got back but it was either to just sit and talk for a bit before dinner or I took a nap.  Matthew and Nicole joined us at Quality Seafood for dinner and it was fabulous!  We went there two years ago when they were in town it is one of their favorite places so I was happy to take them there again.  The seafood is quite delicious and the place had been renovated.  On Mondays they have a small band come in and we enjoyed listening to swing music while a few people danced.  The music wasn't so loud that we couldn't talk.  It turned out to be a perfect evening.

After dinner we drove down to the Congress Bridge to see the bats come out.  Matthew seemed reluctant to go but once we got up on the bridge and the bats came out he was really impressed and everyone had a wonderful time.  I took a video, I hope I can post it here.

On Tuesday my parents packed up their things and I took them to the airport.  It was a teary goodbye and I miss them immensely.  I drove away thinking, "they left me here" and it took me a few hours to come to the realization that I actually left them and that it is up to me to fix my own heart in that matter.  It is nice knowing that so many people love me and want me near them and I choose to ignore the tugs they do on my heartstrings because when I do pay attention to it, it makes me really sad.

I'm very happy that Matthew and I love each other's parents so much.  It makes the whole relationship a lot smoother.  After my one sister had (and still has) so many problems with her in-laws that was always one of my biggest worries for myself.  I want peace and love.  Trying to meet so many people's expectations is very difficult and if my in-laws didn't like me from the start it would be very hard on my future.

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for the gift of having wonderful parents and allowing me through my own struggles in growing up to overcome hurt and anger to see how much they truly love me and want only the best for me.  Many people never overcome that and I am grateful I can appreciate my parents for who they are and what they are to each other.

I've got a soul, but I'm not a soldier...

Do you pray the rosary?

If you don't, why not?  If you don't because you don't have enough time or you don't think to do it, then you need to ponder whether that is really a good reason.  This is a really inspiring video that my dad sent to me (knowing that I'd love it, he's so cute!) and I want to share it with you.  It really made me feel wonderful when I got to the end and I hope you feel that too!

I am trying to pray the rosary more, I'm not perfect but I am working on fixing my mistakes.  My parents pray the scriptural rosary every evening together and when I am at home and when they are with me we pray it together and it is beautiful.

The scriptural rosary (Catholic Arts and Gifts has it as well) is fabulous because it forces you to think about each mystery as you are praying and thwarts your minds efforts to wander.  I tend to think about three things at once and it frustrates me when I lose sight of my prayer when praying the rosary.  I feel like I am letting Mary down.  Jesus asked his disciples to stay awake for just one hour, can I not focus for twenty minutes?

I remember when my dad first started praying the rosary daily.  He would go upstairs and pray aloud while my mother sat downstairs and listened to him.  It took her a long time and many times of him asking her if she would like to do it before she decided to join him.  I think it is beautiful that they pray together and I am thankful that they are setting an example for me.  They may be discovering things later in life than would be desirable but they got there.  I am recalling the story in Matthew, chapter 20 where the landowner pays everyone the same wages even if they came later in the day and only worked one hour.  My Matthew (not the gospel writer) and I spoke about this story just the other day.  He made the point that it doesn't seem fair for that type of conditions on earth but Jesus was talking about the conditions in heaven.  God determines what is fair.  It doesn't matter when we get there but that we get there.  I am thankful that I am there now with Matthew but I am full of joy that my parents are there now for themselves.  They might have some sadness that they didn't do this before but everyone's journey is different and theirs took more time than maybe some others.

Prayer:

Lord God, thank You for our most holy Mother and for the gift of the rosary that she gave us to pray to her and ask for her intercessions.  Help us to continue to pray to her and remain focused on our devotions.  Thank You, Lord, for the loving parents that both Matthew and I have and help me to always remember to not lose my patience with my parents and to love them like they deserved to be loved.  I ask for the courage to ask my friends and loved ones to pray with me, rather than keeping my prayers to myself for it can only enrich my faith.  Bless our loved ones with your presence and keep them safe.  Amen.

Makayla

I had the most wonderful weekend with Matthew's family.  We had Makayla for a day and I was so excited to get to know her.  I could use the practice of patience, love, and understanding.  I always worry that I won't have the patience that I need with my own kids.  I would love to see Makayla more and we won't be in Austin forever.  I guess I think too much about how my own nieces and nephews have changed so much over the years and I have missed out on so many things.  I don't want to miss out on Makayla's life either.  My absence at home is apparent and my family forgives me for it but that doesn't change the fact that I am not there.  I work hard at not feeling guilty and they in turn try not to cause guilt.  

Anyway, Sarah was out of town and so Makayla was spending time with Matthew's parents and with us. We took her to the Children's Museum with Nicole, Michael and Shannon Carter and her four lovely children. It was great that Shannon's oldest, Shae, is seven and so she and Makayla got along splendidly. I only imagine having someone your age to play with is better than two adults!

There was a great kitchen where we could sit at the window and order food.  Shae and Makayla were so cute!  

There was a weird place where the kids were learning about how milk is taken from a cow, transported and bottled.  I don't think anyone really cared about the process.  The cool part was a transport system for milk bottles that was set up with an air flow.  A bottle was put in the tube and was shot up to the ceiling, looped around and came out in a station to be collected.  The kids loved putting the bottles in the chute and Makayla was really good at it!

My least favorite part was the Mexican-inspired area.  It was ridiculous.  There could have been a really cool exhibit about Egyptians or Australia or Vikings or I can imagine several other neat things that children would have enjoyed....  But, we are in Texas and many kids have a hispanic heritage so they need to learn about it at the children's museum.  Maybe that comes off mean and I don't want to insult anyone with a hispanic background.  I just feel it isn't necessary at the museum.  They should be learning a hispanic culture but at a museum there are so many cultures they could be learning about that they wouldn't get at home.  Ya know what I mean?  Anyway, the girls had a good time playing instruments and amusing themselves.

I wasn't the best photographer and I could have gotten much better pictures, especially in the arts and engineering area.  I am disappointed with myself.  I'll have to work on that.  Makayla made some art out of green paper and a popsicle stick.  She wrote on it, "I love you two".  Yeah, I'm keeping that.

After the museum, Matthew and I took Makayla to get some food and then to Terra Toys.  I don't know if it is a good idea to take children to a toy store but, hey, I'm not a parent.  She wound up getting two books which is admirable since we could have left with the whole store bagged up.  I remember when I was in Cincy and Amanda was little.  She wanted to go to a toy store after we had been shopping all afternoon and my sister said I could take her but that she was not to get anything.  So after we wandered around I noticed she was saying to herself, "I'm going to get this, and this and that and oh, I want that."  So I asked her how she was going to pay for all this stuff she was planning on getting and she turned to me and said, "You have money."  Wow...  I think she was seven or eight at that point.  I was a little shocked.  When I was a kid I never wanted toys, I only wanted candy.  Probably because I had enough stuff at home to play with I never cared about getting "new" things.  (And that wanting candy thing still hasn't changed....)

I was sad to give Makayla back to Matthew's parents.  She is too adorable and she warmed up to me pretty easily.  She drew a few pictures of me for me and I put them on my fridge.  She sat on my lap at the museum and hugged me a few times.  I would be more affectionate with her but I tend to wait to see what kids want from me before getting all over them.  And, she is Matthew's niece.  He doesn't see her all the time and she adores him and crawls all over him.  It is very cute and I don't want to be in the way of that.  

At Mass the next day I was hoping she would sit between us but she wanted her Gramma and that was very sweet.  Karol went up with her to the children's liturgy and I hope she had a good time.  I wish we could have seen more of her that day but her mom came home and she was with her.

Sunday evening, I had Matthew and his parents over for dinner and we grilled kabobs and had a salad and some bread.  It was healthy and delicious.  I love how everything off the grill tastes so good.  I really love Matthew's parents and listening to them talk about being kids and their lives.  I would love to do that every week.  They are wonderful grandparents to Makayla and I can really appreciate seeing that.  My parents are good too, but there was an adjustment period.  My own grandma was so perfect that it is hard to stand up to her.  She set the bar high and so my siblings have high expectations of my parents.  When they don't meet them.....eeeek!  They try and I give them kudos for that.

Anyway, splendid weekend and I have so much to look forward to this week!

Prayer:

Lord, thank you for the many blessings that I have in my life.  I cherish each and every one of them and I can only sing joyfully to You for Your love and generosity.  I understand that to whom much is given, much is expected.  I pray that I am worthy and meet those expectations.  Help me to listen when You are speaking to me and to succumb fully to Your will.  I pray that you bless those whom I love and bless their lives with Your presence.  Answer their prayers, oh Lord, for they need You and Your grace.

Joycey

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think that whatever else you do matters very much." 

~Jackie Kennedy

My mom means the world to me and we know each other inside and out.  Mostly because I am a replica of her.  Her twin, born 39 years later...  We get each other, really get each other.  I didn't discover this until I was an adult but we think the same.  We analyze things the same.  I know how I am going to turn out by knowing my mother.  And you know?  The future ain't half bad.

The way we can make each other laugh over the inconsequential things causing my father to shake his head in confusion are the best of times.  

The worst of times is when we are angry with each other.  Trust me, it doesn't last long.  The only way I know to torture Joyce is to not call her for several days.  However, I am torturing myself at the same time.  Yesterday, in fact, we had words and I was determined not to call for a couple days but this morning I just couldn't help but call and talk to her.  I think it was obvious she was happy to be back on track with me too.

I believe that my dad and I have a good relationship because he relates to me.  He sees his wife in me.  He sees the teenager he fell in love with.  The woman he dreamt about when he was overseas.  The woman he mailed a diamond ring to from San Francisco.  The woman he came back to marry and raise his kids with.  The woman he is growing old with and loving his grandchildren with.  Yeah, I love my dad too.

I don't remember the last time the word "love" was used between Joyce and I.  Probably I was a little child drawing pictures for her.  But even though it is not said it is felt and shown.  Sometimes I think it is shown in the best way possible.  What use is the word if there is nothing to back it up?  I've seen plenty of friends told "I love you" by their mothers and I am appalled and want to say, "You do?  You certainly don't act like it."  My mother pretends to be selfish but I have always known she puts things aside that she would rather do to do things for me.  

People are shocked that I call her by her first name.  But goodness the woman doesn't answer to "Mom!"  Believe me, I've tried.  She won't turn her head if you are standing right next to her.  I was convinced it was because she had told herself she was childless when I was a kid.  I'm not sure my opinion has changed on that.

My parents are coming to visit me soon and I can't wait.  When I think about how much they miss me and how much I miss them then my heart gets heavy and the world blurs.  When I stop to think about it, I am jealous of my siblings.  They will always have had a longer time with Mom and Dad than I will ever have.  They knew them when they were young.  My only consolation is that I had them all to myself as a child and didn't have to share very often.  I want to experience more memories with them and more love.  I want them to remain young and to spend more time together.  I am desperately afraid of the days where their minds fail and I will love them anyway and take care of them.

They are still young.  My father hasn't walked me down the aisle yet.  My mother hasn't made my quilt and wedding dress yet.  They haven't hugged me enough or held a child of mine.

I still have time.

Cincinnati and the 80s

I like to fondly think about those days when I was very small and I lived in Cincinnati (we moved to Kentucky when I was five).  Because those four-plus years were the only years in my life that my family has lived together as one.  My sisters were in college and worked at Kroger.  My brother was in high school at La Salle.  I remember stories where Denise would bribe me to be good with orange tic-tacs and I was so gullible!  Orange tic-tacs?  Come on!  I should have gotten something better than that.

My dad worked all the time and so he liked spending evenings with me.  I didn't like to go to bed if he was still up so he would let me sit on the couch with him and I would fall asleep and then he would put me to bed.  On weekends he would run a lot.  He liked running.  I would sit on the front steps of the house waiting for him to come back from his run.  I followed him around when he was home.  I was his "honey-pot" and he showered me with love.

Denise is my oldest sister who wanted to teach me everything.  I could read at a very young age and I read all the time.  I had so many children's books that she bought for me.  I am probably where I am today because she invested so much time in making sure I knew how to read and spell.  I'm still pretty sure that she is the one who taught me to tie my shoes.  It makes me wonder what did my mother do?

Melissa was studying court reporting and was clickety-clackety typing on her little typewriter to practice her wpm.  When she couldn't play with me she would take the special kind of paper that they use and make a small notebook for me to draw things for her.  It was amazing.  I miss those days.  And, I think that is the reason I fall in love with office supplies.  Don't take me to Office Depot, I will leave with my hands full.

On Fridays, Denise and Melissa would work at Kroger until midnight.  I would be in my crib and waiting for them to come home.  The minute they opened the door I would call out, "Wissa?!"  She still laughs to this day about those times.  They always brought home a treat for me and I was excited to have them home.  Despite having two amazing children my one sister says the best thing that ever happened to her was my birth.  My parents attention was from then on focused on me and my siblings could breathe easier and get away with more antics.

My mom was/is not the most patient person but she did an amazing job of coming up with projects for me to do to not get bored.  I had all kinds of crafts!  And in school I had the best ideas for contests and won several science fair awards.  I do owe it all to her.  She had the idea, convinced me of it and gave me the background I needed and then stood back and let me accomplish what she had in mind.  What a manipulator...

During bible study once the question was put out:  What is your first memory of church?  Mine has to be playing in the pews during the week.  My mom and her best friend volunteered to clean the church during the week.  I got to go with them and explore Saint I's.  I loved it!  I had to be quiet but the place was dark, cool and empty.  The smell of furniture polish and the echoes of my mom and Kinross' discussions are still in my head somewhere.  Church was fun, even at that age.  Maybe that is why the community of faith means so much to me, I had it at a very young age.

We have a very old pinball machine.  When I was little I could not put my hands on both buttons at once.  Melissa would stand on one side and control one of the pinball knockers and I controlled the other.  So when my mom wanted to get rid of the pinball machine when I was in college I cried and threw a fit.  I don't want to give up those days nor anything that is still around from them.  Dad understood and he has made my brother store it in his basement because one day I am going to have that pinball machine and my family is going to play it and create memories.

My brother teased me a lot so I tried hard to either annoy the crap out of him or to stay away from him.  He would be irritated that when his friends came over to "hang out" they would want to play with me and my pound puppies.  Having such a younger little sister is a novelty and other people understand that even when the older sibling doesn't.  The most annoying times he would either accuse me of pooping my pants in front of the family at Thanksgiving (or every other holiday for that matter) which would send me into a fit of tears as everyone, and I mean everyone thought it was so funny.  I was hurt that my loved ones would laugh at me.  I do find it amusing now.  I can mature....

Robby also used to get me into trouble.  He would try to convince me of something that wasn't true and I would always yell, "Nuh-Uh!" and he would say, "Yeah-huh!  Go ask Mom!" and I would trot out to find Mom.  "Mom, is the moon made of cheese?" and boy did she get mad.  I think it happened all the time (no wonder she had no patience).  I wanted to prove him wrong and she would just yell at me and yell at me.  Robby thought it was the funniest thing ever.  That still makes me narrow my eyes when I think about it. 

In conclusion?  I have nothing.  Just a bunch of random memories that pooled to the surface.  Maybe it defines me a little more and explains my behavior and idiosyncrasies.

*Note:  Please keep in mind that my memories are just that, memories.  Not necessarily denoting fact but my mind's rendition of what I remember and what I got out of the experience.  I also have had these stories told to me from others' points of view that my own may be misconstrued.